The HIDDEN Communications Factor..

 Its 3 in the afternoon, a fairly tough day for you and your next appointment shows up. A salesperson with a service you have been considering using enters your office. You note the strong smile and good posture of the well dressed representative. They engage you in a pleasant way, ask good questions that get you thinking and ask for the order.  

You see the service as being a good candidate and fit for you, yet for some reason you feel uncomfortable with saying yes to this salesperson. The service is fine, the pricing is reasonable, yet NO is your answer.  

A few days later you decide to go with a different service vendor that is a bit higher in cost. As you analyze your choices you find yourself feeling more comfortable with this company’s salesperson over the others you have met.  

Is this decision about price? About quality? About value?  

The studies show, most likely not! It is about the hidden language of communications!  

Over and over again studies show our decisions are influenced by more than just the words spoken. The reason is our brains can only hold and process so much. So instead of trying to sort all this, we unconsciously make choices based on perceptions. Here are just a few of the other factors found to influence our decisions:  

1. The 10 Laws of Persuasion cover many of the perceptions we may have that influence our choices, here are a few.... 

Power: How is each party perceived by the other in terms of power. If one perceives to have more or less power than the other it can affect the outcome of the conversation. Being aware of this perception allows one party to utilize tools to compensate for this perception.  

Expectations: Is extremely powerful and meeting or not meeting expectations can have a dramatic effect on the other parties’ choices. Perceived power is part of this. 

Friends: What each party knows or thinks they know about the other also effects choice. The more familiar one is with another in some form can move the choice in a different direction. This can be as small an item as having seen a face or heard a name before.  

Association: How others view you, your company and the people you associate with will have a dramatic effect on choice. Right or wrong, the perception of who you associate with will have an effect on others choices.  

2. Proxemics: The study and use of space is a huge influencer on choices that most know little about. This is a huge study so just a few points for your consideration... 

Position: How you position yourself to the other person can have a huge effect on how they perceive you! Sit in the wrong chair and they tend to not like you. Sit in a different place and they are more likely to like you! Experiments have demonstrated this some 90% of the time!  

Space: The use of distance can change a yes to no or no to yes. In experiments we again see a significant change in body dynamics when distance is changed. If one is not aware of these changes, NO can come very quickly!  

Right or Left: The brain perceives us differently depending upon which eye is used to view you. Most right handed people view us positively out the right eye and more negatively out the left eye. Left handed people are 50/50 on this. This is true of one on one in an office or presenting to large groups.  

Name: Believe it or not, people have a perception about you just because of your name! One of the talk shows even had an experiment on what people thought about others based just on their name. The results were very eye opening and very prejudiced!  

This article is not meant to answer all the questions you may have. There are books and books and more books on the study of influence. The purpose is to get you thinking and be aware that persuasion is far more than just the words you use! Much of it is just being discovered and investigated in last few years.  

Attached to this week’s article are several other items on this topic.  

Check out Derren Browns video, do you really observe everything going on around you? 

Dr. Kevin Hogan has a new book just on this topic. His release has lots of additional bonus material available to you. www.kevinhogan.com/promo 

If your in our local area, the Leadership Strategies program gives you skills and insights into this area.  

The main issue is to be aware that more than just the words we use influence others. Many times they are the least important!  

Till next week, keep the eyes and ears open, the mouth closed!  

Harlan Goerger, Co-author, The Selling Gap